Blogged

Just Sinking In

I only have less than three weeks before the OSCE, which I consider the make-or-break stage of my nearly dying career life. I’m in a silent panic, and my brain is constantly nagging every system that exists in my body to do their part so as to push me and my already inefficient neurons to study and yet, it seems that my body just won’t give in.

Everyone’s almost done with every preparation to secure that pass mark on their nursing career achievement history, and here I am, desperately trying to start the real thing by reviewing my crappy notes.

I am not good at memorizing, no, I’m not good at keeping things in mind, which makes me think, how the hell did I pass those taxing, nerve-wrecking, soul-smashing examinations of this course that I had to choose because mom told me so? It’s probably magic. Because no matter how hard I try, it just does not feels right.

But, the big but for this is, there is no turning back. I mean, we’ve spent a lot already and I have put myself in a situation where the only option I have is to move forward. And life, as a nurse is something that’s fast-paced, and you have no choice but to keep up.

Hopefully, I’ll find the right reason for doing all of these. But so far, I must say that I love what I’m doing, I mean, I’m okay with what I have right now. Being alone and doing things independently, no definite plans and living life knowing that things could turn out bad or good suddenly but I don’t actually have to worry because it’s just what it is – living in uncertainties and being comfortable with it.

So Ces, just do your very best and once again, add that four-letter word to your last name, even if you think you don’t deserve them.

You can do it, hunny. I know you can. 🙂

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